


the future is made of mirrors

by stardazed_daydreams



Series: nameless [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fae, Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Heterochromia, Bullying, Car Accidents, Heterochromia, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, POV Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Panic Attacks, Psychic Abilities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-16 15:09:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20852162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardazed_daydreams/pseuds/stardazed_daydreams
Summary: Being the outcast is easy.





	the future is made of mirrors

As long as Virgil can remember, he has been the odd one out. 

In a small town, being left out is rare, because you are raised with the same people your whole life. However, when you move to a place like Wickhillis, Ohio as a single mother with a child that stares at you with two-toned eyes, being the outcast comes as a second nature.

He is still not prepared for the first day of school.

The kids jeer at him. 

He finds daisies in his cubby, hidden in his desk, stuffed in his coat pockets. They throw red berries at him, and during recess, chase him down and poke him with their iron pendants and sticks of rowan.

“Stop,” he says, as they poke and prod at him. They laughed at him, and he began to cry. 

“STOP IT!” He screams, “Don’t touch me, don’t touch me!” He heaves for breath, and the tears come uncontrollable. His heart threatens to pound right out of his chest. 

His teacher calls it a “meltdown”, and he goes home early. 

His mom looks at him with a lot more sympathy, and teaches him a little trick to calm down. 

It is not Virgil’s first “meltdown”. 

It will not be his last.

* * *

Virgil is fourteen years old when he loses his mom. 

She is hit by a car while walking home from work, and she suffers a head injury that becomes her undoing. 

In the span of two hours, Virgil’s entire life falls apart.

He is called out of school when his mother is hit and they make him sit in the waiting room of the ER because they are too busy trying to save her for him to visit.

So he sits there until he goes numb, and when she dies he can’t even cry.

Maybe if he pinches himself really hard, he’ll wake up.

By the time his uncle has arrived in Wickhilis, his arm his more black and blue than flesh-toned, and he hasn’t woken up.

* * *

She doesn’t have a funeral. 

Too stuffy and crowded; she would hate it. 

So she is buried without ceremony. 

Virgil watches her casket be lowered into the dirt and he does not cry. 

He has shed enough tears. 

By the end of the week, his uncle is officially moved in. He tries to comfort Virgil, but Virgil resists- if he gives in, it’ll all become real again. 

His uncle gives up; he has his own grief to deal with, after all. 

The world just keeps on spinning. 

* * *

Shortly after  **it** , he is diagnosed with panic disorder and general anxiety disorder. He learns the coping techniques and it helps. 

It does not bring her back.

It does not make the world any lighter. 

By his sophomore year, Virgil is on two different types of medication. 

He lives, because if he didn’t, his uncle’s world would fall apart. 

He lives for Logan and Patton. 

* * *

Virgil likes to garden. 

It’s something he’s done as long as he can remember, something he knows will always be a part of him. 

His mother taught him, before she- 

Well. 

Before.

He doesn’t like to think about that. 

He likes to garden because it feels like getting a part of her back. 

When he’s done, back aching and dirt caked under his nails, he thinks he might be half who she was.

So he gardens, under the summer sun and in spring rain, harvesting when the leaves start to fall. In the winter, he pickles and stores and salts. 

He gardens, because otherwise, he might go mad.

* * *

He dreams of the future. 

It isn’t often helpful, but he does. 

Whispered words and flashes- things he struggles to remember. He writes it all down for fear of forgetting. 

He’s afraid.

The future does not play nice.

He tells his therapist, because Dr. Piciani is a local, and he understands. 

“I’m so sorry you have to deal with that,” he says with worried eyes. 

He does not tell his uncle, because he was born and bred in New York city, and he would not understand. 

On his sixteenth birthday, his uncle sits Virgil down and breaks the news: he is dating Virgil’s therapist. 

Virgil thinks that’s alright; they both smile a lot more, and who is he to judge, anyway. 

Besides, he had seen it coming.

He jerks awake with a choked breath and writes it down almost faster than he can remember it, scrawled in his incoherent notes. 

_ He’s coming.  _

_ He’s coming. _

_ Destroyer of fae, ruthless and cunning.  _

_ He’s coming.  _

_ He’s coming.  _

_ He’s  _ ** _here_ ** _ . _


End file.
